Friday, 15 February 2013

The First Rule of Eve is...

... Trust no one.

This is a lesson that Nick Allreadydead learnt to his peril tonight.

I'll lay out the backstory; today I enrolled my alt into the Gallente Faction militia. Recently I've seen loads of cloaked and stabbed frigates running plexes (which is a bug bear of mine - wait out for that post!) and when questioned they say they're not in FW for the PvP but for the LP, which then gets turned into ISK.

Moving on though; my alt has been running plexes in my home system of Hevrice in relative safety. Due to the fact it's boring as hell watching a frigate orbit a button for 15 minutes I tend to alt+tab back onto Cable to do more interesting stuff. This lack of concentration has led to me losing a Rifter and a Merlin but they were essentially unfit anyway so it doesn't matter to me. Earlier on tonight Nick Allreadydead, a fellow Gallente militia pilot came into Hev and started running plexes. At first he came into the medium I was capping in a Thorax and like the nice guy I am I called him out on Tusker comms, as well as undocking Cable to get in on the kill.

When the three Tuskers landed on grid he immediately warped away. What followed next made me howl with laughter. My alt received a convo request from Nick who had warped to a safe. I accepted because I'm a rather polite chap and said hello. He asked if I spoke English, to which I confirmed. Then this jewel appeared on my screen:

[ 2013.02.15 21:14:52 ] Nick Allreadydead > Lets kill Cable Udan

I couldn't help giggling at this bizarre occurance and let my fellow Tuskers know what was going. Laughter erupted over comms and calls to get him back to the plex were issued. I asked Nick Allreadydead if we could kill him to which grimly replied "lets try". Now I'd left Cable at the medium plex just in case the Thorax came back of his own volition, and to give my alt some protection as local was getting a little busy. The Thorax soon appeared on my overview and he landed right on top of my Vengeance. I already had all my modules spinning up and ready to so I quickly targeted him and settled into orbit before calling out on comms for those interested to warp in.

My private convo tab then started flashing and I laughed as I read it aloud on comms.

[ 2013.02.15 21:16:01 ] Nick Allreadydead > cant undersatnd
[ 2013.02.15 21:16:32 ] Nick Allreadydead > shoot

Maybe I would have opened fire, if I could. My alt was born out of a need for a hauler, prober and station trader. She has limited combat skills and as such had no guns fitted. If she did though you can imagine at whom she'd be shooting at though.

At this point my fellow Tuskers had joined the fray and the Thorax was well and truely done for. We snagged his pod too but he had no implants. I imagine he was just another FW farmer created for the purpose of grinding LP to turn into ISK.

I might have felt bad about this pseudo-betrayal (I didn't actually agree to anything), but then I saw the cloak and warp stab and all sympathy vanished as quickly as Vitoc in a slave pen.

Remember the first rule of Eve, ladies and gentlemen. Never trust anyone you're not within driving distance of punching in the face.

- Cable

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